To avoid becoming overwhelmed by perfectionistic thinking, experiment with some of the following strategies:
· Preventing perfectionism begins by saying no to unreasonably high demands that produce only failure and self-contempt.
· Begin a conscious campaign to tune into and moderate your perfectionistic thinking.
· Monitor your "internal dialogue" - the phrases you mutter or images you run in your mind. What are your common perfectionistic "mental ruts?" Dichotomous thinking (black-white, categorical classifications)? Catastrophizing (making mountains aut of mole hills)? Selective attention (blaming yourself for let-downs but not rewarding yourself for successes)?
· Cultivate a more soothing, self-nurturing "coping dialogue" that enables you to be a good friend or good parent to yourself ("I can't do everything perfectly. Iťs O.K. for me to set priorities and then do the best I can").
· The new way of thinking requires you to choose goals that are easier to achieve and are within the realm of your possibilities. Moderate your expectations and stop focusing on faults and flaws and then watch your performance and self-esteem soar.
· Challenge your perfectionistic thought system by purposely experimenting with deviating from it (e.g., resist your tendency to engage in overkill the night before the exam and then see how things work out).
· Affirm your humanness by recognizing that your self worth is independent of any single performance.
· Failure is a teacher and can be the source of much personal growth. Experiencing failure and learning to judge your own capabilities demonstrates that you have the strength to accept life's challenges. Never condemn yourself for not succeeding. Thaťs being unfair to yourself. See failure for what it really is: an opportunity to discover that future success lies in another strategy or direction. You will achieve your next goal if you learn from your past mistakes.